I've been home in New York for about a week now, and things are not going so well.
I'd rather not give too many details, but I've screwed up my visa application process, and it looks like I may not be able to get my visa in time for my scheduled departure, and I am absolutely devastated. It's completely my fault, and I'm having a very hard time with it emotionally. I feel like I've screwed up my dreams before they've even happened yet.
Enough of that.
I'm going through a stage of unexcitement. What makes me want to do this? Why for so long? It's so far away. I will miss my friends. It all sounds so silly when I write it down like this, but it's the truth. I'm starting to feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing. I'm sure that once everything works out I'll be feeling much better, but right now it's really really tough. I just wish there was an easy answer to everything that's been going through my head recently. I suppose there isn't though, and I just have to work through it on my own.
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